Get Laid in Amsterdam!

 

So you’re horny as hell and need some relief. In your home town, you’d probably go to a video store and find some porn to keep you company or perhaps visit your favorite bar or club and pray you get lucky. Well, here in the Red Light District of Amsterdam, you can just walk around a few minutes, take your pick of a bevy of beauties and unless you look like Charles Manson, they won’t say no! Of course you DO have to pay, with the standard price now €50 (about $45), but it will be safe sex with a pro.
 

Some things you should know before venturing out. First, take no pictures of prostitutes or you’re just askin’ for trouble. If you see someone you’d like to know more intimately, you can let her know and she’ll open the door to talk. Tell her what you want and she’ll tell you the price. She can refuse you if she chooses. You must wear a condom! All prostitutes in the Red Light District get regular health checks, but it’s still smart to be safe.

If the Red Light alleyway scene doesn’t appeal to you, there are brothels and private houses where prostitution goes on in a more traditional fashion. Some brothels charge 70 €uros just to walk in, others are free entrance. After entering a brothel, you can take a seat at the bar or a table and you’ll be introduced to the ladies, usually one at a time. You can make your selection then. They’ll encourage you to buy an overpriced drink or champagne while you get to know them better. You get either an hour or a half-hour in which to play.

Private houses are another option but they can be more difficult to find. The situation is a bit different as there won’t be a bar, and you just make your selection and do your thing. Usually private homes are cheaper than brothels.

For those of you with fetish fantasies, there are S&M and leather places that provide whatever equipment and special services you require. These kinds of establishments will screen you more carefully and cost substantially more.

If you’re really shy or just can’t handle the real thing, there are dozens of live sex shows, video cabins, and porno shops where you can find something to turn you on. So get over your inhibitions and enjoy what you have on hand (hehe…).

The Prostitution Information Center or PIC, near the Oude Kerk, can give you more info about prostitutes and sell you condoms or lubricants.

 

If you’re gay, you’ll want to stoll down the Warmoesstraat where gay clubs abound including the Cockring and the Stablemaster. The other area is the Reguliersdwarstraat (outside the Red Light District) where you’ll find the famous iT gay disco and the popular Havana bar. You’re sure to find some action there. Sorry, but outside of a few Asian transvestites (sometimes showing a bluelight), there are no longer any gay prostitutes in windows. That experiment didn’t go over too well. But there are a number of private clubs that cater to various gay tastes. Ask around at any of the gay places to find out more. For you lesbians, many of the same venues have women’s nights. There are currently no women only bars in Amsterdam, but there is quite a scene that moves around.

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